that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
