aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize