You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
