I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
