he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
