wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
