We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
