Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
