I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
