can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
