we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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