and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
