PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
