Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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