I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
