id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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