ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
