You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
