somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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