Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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