she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
