Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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