I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
