I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
