I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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