Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you had me at cake vodka
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Randomize
