The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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