i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
