I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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