Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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