My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
