so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Farmville is her only friend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
