ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
