I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
