This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
