god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
