If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
