He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
