i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
