oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
