I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
