shes about as inviting as chlamydia
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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