Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
