I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
