U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
