# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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