Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
