we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
