no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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