We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Found the puke drawer
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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