I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
