wakey wakey hands off snakey
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
