Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
