K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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