I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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