uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I touched a dick in church today
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