i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We are two peas in an std pod
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
