haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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