oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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