Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
