I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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