I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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