Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize